DAMN YOU, JÄGERMEISTER!!!

Sometimes I think shots should be forbidden. Probably some friend reading this is right now giggling and thinking I’m passing through one of these episodes of regret. Well, it’s not exactly that, although it’s true I’m having lots lately, but they are for free, they are invitations…what can I say? I was one of these smokers supporting non-smoking bars…sometimes you dislike something but keep on doing it until there’s some kind of law, rule or whatever that forces you quit doing it. Well, I’d like alcohol shoots were banned.

Think of it, if you don’t get them for free, you have to pay for a round, because most times we do shots as a kind of celebration, or when we are under the influence of alcohol usually surrounded by friends in the same condition.

A shot is too quick, and very painful, as it’s the alcohol without mixing and horribly warm. I find whiskey or rum in shots disgusting, and tequila is fine thanks to the salt and lemon ritual, but urgh! Everybody seems to hate them, so at the end of the day, this ritual makes no sense.

Let’s talk about Jägermeister, my current pleasure and pain in the shape of a shot.

Funny to read this German liquor was originally developed by a hunter (Jägermeister means hunt-master) as a digestif and cough remedy. In Spain such strong liquors are named orujo and I usually hate them.

Created in 1935, I think their successful marketing campaign focused on metal and rock bands, sponsoring many festivals and events, made we, young-mid people mostly interested in such music styles, got acquainted with this liquor. Moreover, the attractive logo showing this deer and the cross caught our attention right away.

First time I tasted it was at Azkena Rock Festival 3-4 editions ago. We were constantly given free tickets so it was about time to check this weird and trendy liquor. It tasted like shit! This initial sweet flavour followed by a burning feeling coming down your throat was too much. I thought it’d be the perfect remedy against dropping temperatures at night, and perhaps had one or two more, only as a warmer, but it took me long time to repeat the experience.

Seems like I’m hanging out by cool rock places, because from time to time I see myself involved in these crazy Jägermeister parties, having a couple of test-tubes. Of course I’ve been given tees, stickers and different merch items. I could reject the invitation as many others, but I give up and surrender to temptation. You know alcohol often weakens your willpower…

It was one week ago, after enjoying this Bat Sabbath show performed by Cancer Bats, with The Eyes A.D opening for them playing amazing covers of Sepultura, some friends, together with the bands were IN one of the most popular discos in Barcelona, Apolo, for the Nasty Mondays weekly party for free. The idea was to have just a beer and head back home as I had to get my stuff ready for the trip to Madrid, but someone started giving us shots of this evil brew, and came back home completely wasted.

Believe me, the following day I was knackered, hit by massive hangover with a terrible headache and the sense of memory gaps. I’m not gonna tell you what happened inside a plane with air conditioning off for half an hour, you can imagine  it wasn’t too funny.

This reminds me of a quote by a freak character on TV named Carlos Jesus who used to say “Today you laugh, tomorrow you will cry”. That asshole was sometimes right.

Jägermeister should include some kind of warning, and I’m not referring to Alcohol can harm your health, but advise some limit. Now I’m aware of mine.

Friends, don’t be seduced by those parties with tubes for free, tees, and funny Polaroids and beware, Jägermeister is the liquor of the Devil, in case something happens to you, never say I didn’t warn you.

Bloody Hell! Buy me a beer or a rum n’ coke, but keep me away of that!

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