THE BALANCE

Time is relative, that’s a fact. Sometimes life can change at the speed of sound, there are other periods when nothing outstanding seems to happen and everything goes slow.

It’s been a year since he (my ex-baby) left me already. It’s unbelievable! Now it’s time to make a balance of these 12 months. I’ve been thinking about it lately, although the conclusion is quite obvious: honestly, I feel fine.

Truth is I’m a girl of ups and downs in my mood, but this has been a constant feature in my personality. I also believe you always can feel better, but also worse. I’ve come to terms with myself, and learned a lot.

One year ago I was wasted, drowned in a sea of sorrow, thinking it’d take me long time to recover, yet positive remembering from my previous relationship I had been a survivor before. Felt like shit for some months, until everything was crystal clear. Once you reach the bottom of the sea, it’s time to take a run up to the surface, and start breathing in relief. That’s what I did.

This is not a post to self spam or show the world how tough and cool I am, because I’m not, but I had to move on, and reinvent myself, or at least, feel and enjoy things in MY way. And I’m proud I achieved it.

You can read my introducing page, This is just Me Myself & I, there’s no need to tell you the story of this blog, nor my past situation, again. As for my current situation, if you check this from time to time, everything’s been said: single, broke and in mood for enjoying every second in my life.

Of course I sometimes miss things of sharing my life with someone, and got low moments, but fortunately, in the era of technologies, you can get the phone and give a call to a friend, and I’m able to forget about shit messing in my head in a nick of time.

This is the most positive point in my life: my friends. I’d be nothing without them. Completely devoted to a bunch of people who have been by my side in my lowest hours, I feel grateful, to start, and would do anything at my hand for making them feel fine and comfortable. Friends have saved my life and made me realize I’m not the piece of shit I thought I was, and have encouraged me in any crazy idea or plan I have carried out.

What plans do I have in mind? To be honest I haven’t thought much about it. I’ve been quite chaos this year, adapting to my new life. Some of my routines have been defined, yet I have to work on much stuff. I’ll keep on working, go to gigs, write posts for my blogs, and have fun. Of course I’d like to travel, but since I moved on my own,  plus the IRS punishment for changing jobs last year, and my social life, haven’t help to improve my financial situation at all. Hopefully, once I had paid my dues by Fall, I’ll start focusing on saving for next year holidays. I’d love going back to the States…we’ll see!

Enough of personal stuff, I really want to thank you all, for encouraging me to talk about my stupidities here, with your comments and your visits, my loyal friends for being by my side, and my family, a bit dysfunctional but supportive. Ah! Of course, to music and movies too! With all these treasures, nowadays I feel fulfilled. Love you!

9 responses to “THE BALANCE

  1. I’m really glad you feel so well after all that you’ve been through. Things will only get better and better you’ll see 🙂

  2. Emocionante,muy emocionante,y más cuando uno ha pasado lo mismo.Aunque no nos conozcamos mucho,espero formar parte de tu radio de amistades,aunque sea en la distancia.

  3. Right now I’m not in a positive mood, but reading you gives me good vibes. I’m very glad I met you… I really envy your energy and strength. Don’t ever change!!!

    • I won’t, now I’m not under the influence of anyone and can do whatever I want.

      I’m sorry for your low days, you know eventually they’ll vanish and sooner than later things will settle in the way they have to. Of course you can count on me, no need to repeat it, you can have as much energy and strength as me, it’s just a matter of time.

  4. It’s great to see you back on the right track… YOUR track. I’m gonna get all cheesy here but anyway, I love you lots. If this nasty country is teaching me something is that love is everything and everywhere. It’s pretty unfortunate how often we relate love -and self love- to a particular person… that could only lead you to unhappiness and is the biggest self-imposed lie humanity has ever believed in.
    A quote from a book I quite like: “Most loves are like that … You heart starts to feel like an overcrowded lifeboat. You throw your pride out to keep it afloat, and your self-respect and independence. After a while, you start throwing people out – your friends, everyone you used to know. And it’s still not enough. The lifeboat is still sinking, and you know it’s going to take you down with it. I’ve seen that happen to a lot of girls here. That’s why I’m sick of love.”

    A big kiss from filthy Chennai…

  5. May I know where I can find that quote? Basically it defines some periods in my life, sad but true, love focused just on a single human being can evoke both the most beautiful moments but also the most unpleasant ones. Rewarding and a burden, love has more often than we think, these two opposite sides, yet I’m at peace, and most likely, when the time comes, I will feel in love once again, but willact wiser, because I’ve had learned another lesson.

    Love when you turn cheesy, girl, usually is me the one who acts like that, you know beyond my rude appearance and my nonsense chat, I’m a cake, a tender person seeking for affection, thus, an an exception, I’m glad you become a teddy bear. Needless to say, I love and miss you loads, I don’t have to be in Chennai (I’m still wondering why the fuck you’re there!) to know it. Greatness of friendship is that despite the fact that we only see each other barely a couple of times a year, and don’t talk too much either, we know who we are, and what we mean to each other, and for me that’s enough.

    Thanks for your words, Sofia, they mean a lot to me, finally I’m following my track, and to tell you the truth, I’m glad about it, and proud of myself for the first time in veeeeery long time, thus at the end of day, sometimes from defeat, you can end feeling a winner, and that’s how I feel nowadays.

    Take lots of care, and live safely there. Can’t wait to have a beer (or 10) with you!

  6. The book is “Shantaram”. If you read it, PLEASE read the original English version -I know you would, but just in case-. It’s an awesome book in many ways. And get ready to read 900 pages in a week, once you start you won’t be able to stop.
    Comming here was kind of a random decision… it was either here or Delhi, and somehow Delhi didn’t sound very appealing when I had to choose.
    Most likely I’ll be in BCN for a few days in September. I’ll tell you the whole story then. Nos vemos 🙂
    Un besote

    • Oh shit! Got the book already but haven’t started reading it yet. Not very focused this Summer, too many things to do…

      Can’t wait to see you in September, most likely I’ll go to Turborock the first weekend and then won’t move from the shitty till the last, for celebrating my 35 birthday (!!!) in Mañoland. Apart from those events, nothing else under schedule. You can crash at my Hellhouse if you feel like.

      Take care and keep me posted, I’m really glad to hear from you.

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