One year ago, someone who’s not in my life any longer (you can guess who…it’s easy), told me I wasn’t constant with things in my life. Coming from him was like a bad joke, but I’m not the one to judge anybody’s life and choices, especially if deep feelings are involved. Perhaps I should, but I’m not a pushy person, I take things as they go, if I like them I get along, if not, then I move my ass as far as possible.

After the initial shock of such statement, a quick thought came to my mind: I might not be constant with certain obligations, or things which don’t give me enough satisfaction sometimes, what I’m constant with all that matters. I will never forget my answer: listen, XXXX, right now I can name 3 things I’m constant at, which I consider the quite important: You, my friends and my job.

Yes, one of my problems, yet a virtue too, regarding couples, is that I’m so constant I never give up, and sometimes I should, for both my pride and state of mind. I’ve never fired anyone, always hoping everything could improve. Thus, when everything is ruined, I feel like shit thinking I could have put things to an end earlier. At least, I never have the typical regrets thinking  what I did wasn’t enough.

Regarding my friends, they are my life, I’ve told this hundreds of times, but it’s true. I would be nothing without my friends, and you have to treat them the best you can, and that’s a constant thing in my life.

I’m a hard worker. First company related to container business I worked for, during 4 years, I really felt involved with maybe too much. Not that it was an obsession, but issues trespassed the line to my private life. I’m trying this does not happen anymore, but if I have a commitment, and get paid for that, I have to give my best when required. Of course, there are seasons I’m ball scratching, like everybody else, but when stressing peak seasons, such the one I’m currently suffering, are on, I squeeze my brain and do whatever is at hand, meaning overtime, to say the least. I don’t care. Better times are to come.

The subject of perseverance has come to discussion many times among friends. You know, certain statements, despite you clearly disagree with them and know they’re wrong, depending on your state, can affect you a lot. I guess this happened to me, because this frequently comes to my mind.

My friends get upset when I remind them of this moment, they cannot disagree more.

Could you think of 5 things you’re persevering at, right now? And being horny all day long is not valid 😉

I’ve told you three, although one is not currently active. And more have come to my mind, thank God!

A couple of weeks ago, my friend Nefer remarked something that had never occurred to me, the funniest about it is that this is something that has been with me since I was 9 and discovered it was great: English language. Some people can accuse of being a snob, I’m not going to justify myself nor give extra explanations, but that’s complete bullshit.

Little story here. When I was 9, a couple of Americans started to live on the flat next door. The woman, Maria, was actually in her 20’s, and her husband Marc, was in the army (there was a US army base in my hometown those days). She was mos of time on her own, quite bored, and had this awesome portable Pac-man machine she let us play with at the swimming pool in our building. Thus we became friends. She could speak a bit of Spanish, for she was born in Phillipines, and I could say few things in English, so our friendship was one to improve our language skills and mimics. She loved Wham, and had a collection of videos we used to watch every weekend. And then she played me cartoons, which I didn’t understand much, but loved them anyway.

Eventually both families got close, and we used to hang out at the base. That was a blast! Bowling, the coolest swimming pool ever, and for just one dollar, you could get a cheeseburger and play arcade games for long time.

My cousins also lived in a residence area full of Yankees, so they got acquainted with other teeneagers, and soon I was introduced to other kids. Language barrier was a problem I had to sort out, because I wanted to communicate, and know about their culture, understand Teen Wolf and other cool movies… At that point it was decided, I HAD TO learn English.

And since then, English has been a constant in my life. Most stuff I consume is English spoken/written: music, films and books; I studied English philology at college (never finished it though, degree was a crap); stayed in London for a couple of years… After many years I’ve realized, despite my mistakes, I feel more comfortable writing in English, and in both very intimate moments and heavy drunk states, it’s easier for me to express myself in such language. Now you tell me, am I a snob? Well, then I am, and proud of it!

And to end with this, perhaps, nonsense deep thinking of the day, one of the most important constants, which has marked the track to follow for good, music. I’ll never give up on music, and will attend as many gigs as possible as long as I’m physically capable of. Without rock, and music in general terms, I would be a complete different person, probably empty and boring. There’s nothing that can excite me more, or bring out my most extreme emotions. Music can help me to concentrate in certain tasks, can cheer up or depress me, make me laugh and cry, turn me on or get me more aggressive. Music is the law!

Once all this said, I really wanna know, am I constant or not?

6 responses to “ABOUT PERSEVERANCE…

  1. …I have the same “problem” with English. It entered my world when I was about 4 at school and I-JUST-LOVE-IT. It’s in me and I never really had to “study”. (I’ve tried German, French, Finnish and Esperanto, and the magic has never happened again…). 95% of what I consume is in English. I have no idea why, but 95% of the time, I think and talk to myself in English. If I write down a list of stuff to do, I use English. I feel I tell bigger truths when I write in English, and I’m not talking blog posts, I’m talking private journals and letters. I can not tell you how many times daily I can’t find a word in Spanish but the English word is clear in my mind. Or I just need the English word because the Spanish won’t do it. Or I say something really stupid because it only makes sense in English. My friends know me and just go along with it fine but of course (and you should know it…) a lot of people think you’re a snob, or trying to be cool. (And I always think, what’s so “cool” about it anyway? It’s only a language, and a very easy one, I’ll get back to you when I manage 5 of them or learn Chinese…). I struggle with this on a daily basis, and sometimes it drives me crazy…
    I can’t answer your question but, vincit qui patitur. That’s Latin, so maybe I really am a snob after all…

    • Glad to know I’m not the only one…really! 🙂

      Tell me all you computer, mobile and other stuff have are set-up in English, and I’ll be down on my knees

      • Oh, hell, don’t go there… The phone is not, actually, but the rest is: Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook… Devices, the iPod Touch (here’s my co-worker with his new iPod coming to ask me “hey, dónde se hace tal y cual cosa?”, and I’m like “tienes que ir a settings, notifications… ah, es que mi menú está en inglés, espera…” and getting THAT look…
        And don’t you just hate sites like YouTube and their “I see you are in Spain, would you like to go to the Spanish site?”. Noooooo, I doooooon’t!
        And then I obsess about things that I hear in speech that I like, in movies or whatever, even commercials, and I repeat them over and over until I can say it perfect, like the PSP commercial, the female voice whispering “PlayStation Portable”, I did that one a lot… But it’s not to be “perfect”, I just love the way it sounds. When I was younger I liked American accents better, but that’s changed and now I’m totally crazy for the British, can’t get enough of it (I’m enjoying “Misfits” so much!!), and it makes me sad that I’m never going to be able to catch that accent.
        And for anybody else reading this, please, don’t judge me… 😉

      • On my knees, literally!

        Precisely few days ago I was talking about these mainstream social networks. When barely known in Spain, default set up is in English. As soon as they become popular, they’re burning you with the damn Spanish option…I hate that!

        Back in my London days, I quickly discovered the damage caused by films dubbed into Spanish. All my Swedish friends had a perfect American accent, it was unbelievable.

        Regarding the accents, British is funny, Cockney is even funnier but terrible when trying to communicate (I used to work for an industrial laundry company the first months located in Chadwell Heath…that was a nightmare!) and RP is obviously brilliant and stunning, but gotta say, nowadays I’m devoted to American.

        One of my closest friends used to live in the States when he was a kid. It’s still shocking the way he pronounces bands, authors or any other stuff names…I love it!

  2. You’re like everybody else, constant and fickle… don’t worry, you don’t have to be perfect! It’d be so boring! From my point of view you’re brilliant, unique, sometimes a fucker but always yourself so… don’t waste your time in such stupid memories! I was told I was inconstant too (what a coincidence, haha! it’s a fact that some guys have no arguments and only use excuses)… but I decided I didn’t give a damn about what someone could tell me about myself.. specially if it came from someone I was involved to… soooo keep on rockin’!!

    • Hahahah! Love you say about the fucker thing… you know I’m not an angel, but not mean either. Glad you’re still my friend, means lot to me.

      You’re right about guys not having arguments and looking for ridiculous excuses to justify themselves or the end of something, that’s exactly what happened to me. Few days ago I read something that made complete sense: what made someone feel crazy about you, would be the same that, in such case, will make him/her despise you. I also suffered that in my own person. Fuck ’em!

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