HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TOLD YOU LOOK VERY SIMILAR TO…?

It’s fascinating our love for finding resemblances between current people and celebrities or characters, I got friends obsessed for relating people, and in many cases these are reasonable and funny, but other times it’s like, WTF?. Perhaps you’ve been asked the typical question saying “Have you ever been told you look very similar to…?” I don’t know whether to feel lucky or not, but I must be a bit peculiar, because nobody finds any counterpart.

The only exception was this girl who told me whenever she sees this rough Wonder Woman illustration by Renzo Ferrer, it reminds me of me. Ok, not that I don’t like her, and I even feel flattered, but let’s be serious, no fuckin’ way, we’re not alike by all means.

While heading to the office this morning, I passed a man on the street who was exactly the same as Jack Black, the actor, a character I simply can’t stand. The poor guy had the same dorky glance, hurrying up to school with his little daughter. This has made me laugh somehow. The fact is that some kind of mechanism, ignited by this minor event, has started in my head. I was sitting in front of the computer and my eyes met Joe Pesci as Tommy DeVitto in Goodfellas (I got a postcard of this film at the office, sent by a friend long time ago), and I started to think of the postman moving in my neighbor 8 years ago…

And I’ve decided to write a top 5 of people I got memory of, reminding me of characters.

JOE PESCI AKA MR. POSTMAN – Classic. I used to pass guy on a daily basis and he was exactly the same. Same size, hairdo, with toothpick included, and he had that nasty smile when talking to grannies. Moreover, he was a bit horny guy and had that typical Pesci’s face in Casino or Goodfellas. In fact, except for the suit missing, I could imagine him telling stories. Funny how, like a clown?

LAUREN BACALL – When I started attending college there was this gorgeous girl whose name I can’t recall now, although we still have some acquaintances in common. I’ve always thought of Lauren Bacall as one of the most perfect creatures on Earth since I discovered her while watching The Big Sleep. And this girl had same blue eyes, the lips always in red, and the wave in her hair exactly the same. If I was a guy I’d had a crush on this girl, believe me. I saw her a couple of years ago, she’s still very pretty and keeps some Bacall scent, but it’s not the same anymore. She had this vintage, film noir beauty, the kind that only lasts for a while.

DAVE WYNDORF AKA THE WAITER AKA THE REAL DAVE WYNDORF – in case I write my memories, this story will be included for sure. I was living in London, and used to go out very often with friends very into rock and metal. There was a joint we were hanging out on a regular basis, and one of the waiters was Dave Wyndorf look alike. In fact his features were so similar, I was thrilling thinking he was the real one, from time to time. You know, like disturbed, belly butterflies, and even blushing. But he was the damn waiter.

One evening I was with my friends at The Underworld, in Camden, enjoying QOTSA live show, Rated R era. My friend Chris comes with some pints and he looks super excited and smiling wide open and says “mates, I’ve just had a chat with Dave Wyndorf”. I couldn’t believe it, in fact because all this waiter thing, I thought he was joking, and he said this time it was for real. Thus I had to see for myself, went straight forward and asked him “Are you the real Dave Wyndorf?” and he affirmed and asked me who I was, so I replied “ I’m the real Toi”, and he started laughing. This was the beginning of 3-4 hours chatting nonstop, he was smoking ultra light cigarettes and drinking water, and I was getting pissed for the two of us. He even introduced me to Homme and Oliveri at the aftershow party, insane! Funniest thing of all is that few weeks ago, checking my old gig ticket collection, I discovered his autograph, saying “I’m the real Dave Wyndorf”.

SALACIOUS CRUMB AKA THE LIBRARIAN – I might sound very cruel but yes, I reckon Salacious Crumb was working at my faculty library, and she was a total cunt, with an annoying laugh, not very great manners, and in bad mood most of times. She was a red hair, but hers was kind of electrified and irregular, which reminded of Salacious ears. I’m considered to be quite exaggerated, a very common feature shared by the natives of my hometown, but I showed Salacious to some friends, and they had to agree I was right. Whenever I see The Return of The Jedi, the librarian comes to my mind.

EDDIE VEDDER, MY TEENAGE CRUSH – We used to say Felix was Pamplona Eddie Vedder, my friend Diana still agrees he looked like him, but I have my doubts nowadays. Truth is that he was a huge fan of the band when I met him in 1993, he had this grunge appearance we thought the coolest style, long hair, and his features were sharper, but I was convinced he looked like Eddie Vedder, and I told him right away. Someday I will tell you about Felix, although nothing really happened, probably because I was too scared and impressed by the huge difference in age (he was 9 years older than me, and I was 17), but hugs and passionate kisses, he made a mark on me that still lasts. He was the first person who made me think I was adult enough as to have my own word and thought, and the right to agree and disagree with my parents and other people consequently. Felix, my Eddie Vedder… I see him everytime I listen to State of Love and Trust, and I thank him, wherever he is,  for introducing me to Alice In Chains.

Sure you have your own list of your personal impersonators of characters, and I’d love to know. It’s a funny pastime. C’mon, tell me!!!

6 responses to “HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TOLD YOU LOOK VERY SIMILAR TO…?

  1. Excuse me, I have lost all my words…

    P.S. jebus fuckin christ, the REAL Dave Wyndorf??

    P.P.S. The real Toi ROCKS. He was lucky.

    • hahahaha! Gotta tell you I got so drunk, he told me to go to his hotel and I rejected such proposal reckoning If I was going with him, I’d end up throwing up. I really meant it, and eventually threw up at the door of a Jewish school….No comments 😉

      I don’t rock, I’m a mess…

  2. No major deal regarding Homme. I was introduced to him by Wyndorf right after the show, in this kind of VIP area (London Underworld is not a very big venue), and had, 1-2 minute small talk? Typical stuff about the show, he asked me if I enjoyed, I replied it had been awesome and that’s all. One thing I’m positive.Not only we shook hands but also kissed each other…

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