Ten minutes ago I was nodding off to sleep while trying to read another chapter of the book. I couldn’t make it further, I’m exhausted from this amazing weekend I spent. Andrea stayed at The Hellhouse as my guest of honor, and everything’s been a blast. Lots of chatting, plenty of beers, pizza, Japanese food, blankets, Norma Jean Magazine’s updates, laughs, new acquaintances from Munich (Hi Nico!)…Big time! Now I’m suffering the consequences. No regrets though.
I don’t usually complain about Mondays. Tuesdays suck even more, however today’s been loathsome. To start, I had all this tiredness concentrated, and being tweeting the Golden Globes allowed me to sleep barely four hours. On the streets people were acting like zombies, super super dumb and annoying, drivers too. And finally my day at the office has been shit, marked by incidences, lots of phonecalls, and my #karatekaboss bothering every 30 minutes. Really, at 7pm I couldn’t take anymore. I was meant to start running again but I wasn’t in the mood. The only positive thing is that, my working contract, which expires on Saturday, will be renewed (extension not advised yet).
As soon as I got home my mood was looking for something quiet but meaningful, strong and intense. Been thinking of Johnny Cash lately, perhaps the presence of Joaquin Phoenix in my life lately, thanks to The Master, acted as the fuse for it. I don’t know, maybe Elvis inspired me. Whatever! Before taking off my new coat, I’ve gone straight to the shelf and taken American Recordings. Reckon I played it 3 times, and finally I’ve felt relaxed and in peace.
But it was just now, about to go to bed, when I thought of looking for a Goodnight video on Youtube. It had to be a song by Johnny Cash. Well, as soon as I’ve put my eyes on Hurt I decided it had to me my g’night song to finish this rough day.
I know, I know, the original was written by Trent Reznor for NIN, band I don’t really connect to much, even though I fully respect. Do not mean to offend their fans but I dig Cash’s cover much more. Need to credit and applause Reznor for the amazing lyrics, because they are overwhelming.
But it’s Cash’s guitar and his unique voice, old, tired, implying a life full of scars and struggle, the arrangements added for the in crescendo of the song to an epic level, the intensity and all the feelings he manages to transmit, what move me to tears. The Black Man has won my heart, for good.
Thus, while wiping tears from my face, I’ll watch the video with you for the last time tonight, happy about a song that has made me feel alive.
I hurt myself today,
To see if I still feel,
I focus on the pain,
The only thing that’s real…