We’ve been raised in the belief that our target in life is to be the #1. To prove we are the best in the eyes of everybody. This is why human being hardly accepts defeat as a positive lesson in life. You don’t usually consider failure the most suitable way of learning, huh? Moreover, failure can imply retaliation, marginalization, rejection and so on coming from others.
Being the second, the #2, has always been wrongly considered as a sort of failure. Victory is not fully achieved, thus for many this position is close to failure. I reckon I’m a good example of #2.
In my world Silvio Dante, Tony Soprano’s consigliere, is quite inspiring and has helped me to accept my #2 condition. He’s the second in command, the adviser, the executor, and the closest guy to the boss. Very few realize his figure is vital to his superior, who might get crippled in his absence, as the boss is constantly delegating tasks to him.
The memory of a scene of Silvio having a conversation with his wife while she’s helping him with his cufflinks about the possibility of becoming the boss in case Tony didn’t survive his uncle’s gunshot , is quite fresh in my mind. Silvio admits he doesn’t see himself in such position and being the #2 is enough for him. Due to stress while his temporary boss acting he eventually suffers from a respiratory attack, confirming he’s unable to cope with such pressure.
I don’t see Silvio as a loser, but the opposite. He’s one of the strongest and most charismatic characters in the Soprano family.
Thanks to this stupid example I came to the conclusion is not so bad being the number 2, especially after several frustrating episodes throughout my life which confirmed I cannot be completely on top of anything.
Perhaps when my parents read this, they feel pity and think “oh no, honey! You’re brilliant and you’re a truly winner to us”, but the truth is that for some time now I’m learning to be honest with myself and I’m positive my personality are not so strong nor my skills are so outstanding as to reach the top of the podium.
I’m ambitious up to a certain level, and beyond that I don’t feel the need to struggle or face other competitors, I need to be comfortable in what I do as long as I’m truly motivated.
Perhaps the most disappointing experiences being the #2 in the past were at work. You know that you should be on top position because your effort and knowledge support such right, however due to external influences beyond my control, and usually unfair, someone managed to leave me on the side, on behalf of less qualified people. I swear I’ve felt this kind of rejection several times in my life, until I decided the fight had a limit and I wasn’t going to suffer anymore for this reason.
All this been said I’m very proud of being the second in command of this magazine I’ve mentioned here hundreds of time. I started collaborating on a regular basis one year ago and I’ve got myself fully involved in the project up to date. Andrea is the Godmother and I’m right by her side ready to help her with anything she might need. She’s the leading voice and I’m backing her up, and understanding the roles of each other we’ve built a strong duo team, finally confirming that being the #2 is not so wrong.