Perhaps it’s too risky to bring out this subject, as there are many hidden readers who never come out of the cave publicly to comment on the topics but come to me and tell me what they think about stuff, and some can feel identified or related to what I’m about to tell, but this is the way I need it to be.
Have you ever had the feeling you arriving late? Late for a job, late for a band which no longer exists, late for a trend…and it’s not your fault, nor you haven’t done it on purpose, it just happens. In the last months this feeling is recurring, and it’s very contradictory in some aspects.
I’m late for interesting and worthy men. Just like that. I’m meeting very interesting and cool guys close to my age who share an unfortunate feature: they are not single. There are wives, girlfriends and even kids these men are sharing their lives with. I don’t think it’s necessary stress out the fact that I wouldn’t force any of their current situations to change, and wouldn’t like to be part of a split or something worse, first because I’m not that kind of person, and second because I don’t want to be anyone’s second course.
There are times you are aware of their situation in advance, which quickly helps you to mark as “not available”, but in some cases you start talking with someone who is very charming, cool, wonderful, irresistible, and all of a sudden the magic vanishes when in the middle of a conversation he mentions his wife or his kid…
Some guys are clearly flirting and are playing with a dividing line which keeps them in the safe zone, others who cross to the other side with all the consequences, and some other just don’t realize you might be more sensitive to their charms.
But what happens when even though both parties are aware of the situation and have their roles assumed, there’s a noticeable vibe between them? Oh Hell, that’s tough! The only thing you can do is stay cool, grab a couple of beers and think that you got the wrong impression. That’s the best you can do if you value their friendship and don’t want to mess things up or finish being a fool in front of their eyes.
When situations like this happen somehow the future prospect of finding someone seems hard to believe. Not that I’m desperate for having a couple, in fact I don’t think I’d be able to share not only life and my privacy but also my space with someone, but you know, it’s always good to have the possibility of o. Nowadays it seems like they’ve been reduced to just one possibility: being single.
Thus, what’s the meaning of this? Is it that all single people in my age are, so to speak, faulty? As if we had some sort of mental issues, likely caused by broken relationships, which have prevented us from having a couple, or something like that? Ain’t we good enough for anyone? are we too cool for the school? Truth is that whenever I look around it takes me ages to find someone interesting, outside my friend groups, and most of times they’re with someone else.
I think I’ll have to wait for the emotional leftovers who, considering my age, won’t take too long to turn up.
Aaah, life! I really love you dear, but sometimes you’re a merciless cunt!