Category Archives: Trash

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Hey! How you doin’! Yes, I’m still alive.

Last month I received one of these WordPress notifications advising that it was time to reniew the site and all the stuff and pay for having my place in the virtual world, and that made me start poundering over Since My Baby Left Me future. Should I stay or should I go?

I decided not to renew on the premium basis, since I seldom post stuff and because I don’t need the ultimate blog design and awesome widgets. What I understood from the notifications, which became weekly, was that I was losing my site “dot com” to go back to WordPress, and at that point my pride was a bit touched, because this used to be a great funnel and helped me a lot back in the day, but I gave up. If this was the time to quit, I would accept it without major drama, and of course, avoiding saying goodbye to one, or maybe two readers I might currently have.

But wordpress gave me some sort of last chance, and sent me aother notification this week, about keeping my sincemybabyleftme.com site for a ridiculous amount of money, and I thought “whaddahell! I might get in the mood to write about something someday, and the name of the blog is cool”, so I’m up to renew on this thing. Perhaps I will quit next year as well, but I’ve decided to give me such time to make up my mind. In case I decide to tell crap here and you are interested in what I’m saying, I’m sure you won’t mind the site is simple, will you?

Anyway, it feels great to type nonsense here. Hope you’re doing right 🙂

It’s been 5 years already.

yeah! 5 years ago this site was born. The reason perhaps was the most stupid one of all, but I thought it was a good idea. Till I stopped posting self-pity crap because it was too depressive, and then I started focusing on the things I live, or the things which hit my head from time to time.

Never been good at keeping a diary, I’m terrible at being constant except for music, my friends and drinking beer. I never give up on those, many of you can tell. Thus I’ve been absent for some time, perhaps too much, and many of you won’t be interested in what I have to tell anymore. And I can understand it.  But as long as I have energy and have to say something I will recover this blog and will write whatever sprouts from my mind, with mistakes and lack of sense sometimes, but with passion and love, not feeling a slave of this, not thinking of this as a burden. I might write often, or seldom, who knows, but I won’t apologize anymore. I got a life outside, even though many of you think I’m so hooked to social networks I don’t have a life of my own, or I expose too much. I’m much more than this, and really, I live, and enjoy, and suffer, and get upset, like everyone else.

toi

This stupid statement said, after few beers and a terrible day behind, is just a confession that in the end does mean nothing, but I feel much better now, which is what actually matters… to me.

Thanks to all who’ve been supporting me on this.

Feel the good hit of Summer

Hi friends!

Sorry for being so absent here. In case you are wondering this spring has been one of the craziest and most exciting seasons in the last 5 years. Absolutely insane! Lots of shows, events, affairs, booze and euphoria.

pool

I’ve just come back from a ten day break, during which I’ve attended Azkena Rock Festival in Vitoria, my favorite festival ever, and spent a whole week at my parents’ detoxing and chilling out. I could have written something but didn’t bring my computer this time, so I’ve been surfing the net but in very low profile. I’ll try to tell you a bit about the festival, which has been amazing, not only for the great bands I’ve had the chance to see, such as L7, Kvelertak, Red Fang or DGeneration, but also for the tons of fun I’ve shared with my beloved friends. The older I get, the more fun I have. Whenever I think I cannot enjoy more, something happens and everything turns into a wild party. Awesome, really.

I’ve been listening to some new releases but I’m totally hooked to Faith No More last album, Sol Invictus, listening to it obsessively. I’ll tell you about it in my next post.

Summer is here and it’s super hot. In fact, for the first time in ages I’m sort of tanned, and I’ve even been bought a swim suit and have gone to the pool. What’s going on with me? am I crazy? I think the Van Halen’s Panama spirit has invaded my body and soul, and I’m in the mood of fun. Got lots of work waiting for me at the office tomorrow, but, who cares? As long as there’s a cold beer waiting for me somewhere, everything will be alright in the end.

summer

Whatever you do these months I hope you enjoy as much as you can, because, dear friends, there’s only one life, it’s too damn short, and winter is always round the corner.

Cheers!

Toi VS Mess. First Round.

Basically this weekend I’ve spent my free time doing what i like the most: listening to CDs and vinyls and watching movies. I can’t complain, at least I’ve played 15 different albums, old and new, and watched 4 movies. These weeks I’m quite stressed at work, with people on holidays and being in charge for many additional tasks, with lots of incidences and also feel a bit anxious for upcoming changes and new responsibilities, so I really needed a break, and I’ve disconnected from it a lot, which is good, because on Friday I was mentally exhausted.

And I eventually did some cleaning. I hate it. From the ancient times women are supposed to be tidy and clean but to be honest the more I meet single girls the more I realize this is not a true fact. I used to be the tidy and organized one when living in couple, but nowadays I sometimes feel really lazy about it. It’s not my biggest concern. My main problem is not that I’m a pig, I don’t really get the house dirty being on my own, but the fuckin’ dust is my enemy.

I live near a market which has been under restructuring for 4 years, and I open the windows very often, so dust is more welcome than a vampire into a house. Moreover, it’s a mixture of dust and sand particles. On the other hand I have lots of stuff. lots of crap which tend to attract dust: vinyls, CDs, books, toys, figures… any kind of shit you can imagine which is terribly hard to keep completely clean. In fact, I think it’s impossible.

too much stuff

Sometimes I dream of being a minimalist person, with one of those white furniture living rooms with just a couple of things in an attempt to become livid, but that’s an utopia. I love things. I still buy books, even though I don’t read as much as I used to, CDs and vinyls. More or less one year ago I decided not to get more movies, just the essential. I’ve always had lots of stuff with me. when I was at my parents’ I used to have lots of book and magazines. At my granny’s I started having CDs and toys. In London I had to sell and give stuff for free. And I moved to Barcelona with 1 baggage, which means that I still have plenty of things at my parents’ packed in boxes. I even lost all my furniture and lots of CDs and figures when I split with my ex. If I have gathered now all my belongings definitely I would  need a bigger flat.

patrick bateman living room

I need to see things I like around, but sometimes the limit seems a bit blurry for me, so when you visit The Hellhouse the living room is full of all this stuff everywhere.

Been trying to tidy up an area of shelves which was very bad organized. When I started cleaning I realized there was plenty of useless crap I should have got rid of long time ago. And this was just a small part of the living room. No need to say dust was the king too.

This has made me wonder about the Diogenes syndrome. Is it inheritable? Is it only referred to senile people or my mess might mean I’m a potential victim of this disease? At least at the moment I’m not interested in picking up objects from the streets, which makes me feel sort of relieved, but what if?

I don’t know. I’ve been designing a “plan” to have certain things more under control and improve the space for storing, and of course, get rid of useless stuff. I don’t wanna think what a nightmare moving in the future can be, when I have to.

Now that I’m focused on this, it’s time to take the actions. Will I be able to do that? wish me luck, dudes.

Six degrees of separation. Today: Elvis and Toi.

Kind of frustrated because I didn’t post anything related to Elvis’ birthday on Thursday. I still paid my tribute watching the great documentary Elvis: That’s the way it is, which I strongly recommend you, including lots of footage of the rehearsals previous to Vegas residency in 1970, and the actual shows, which were awesome.

I know it’s a bit late but I want to talk to you about Elvis, Toi and the Six degrees of separation theory anyway, and that’s what I’m gonna do right now.

Back in 1929 there was this Hungarian writer, Frigyes Karinthy who wrote a book of short stories titled ‘Everything is Different’. In one of these, he was telling about how the world was shrinking so to speak, as the human being was moving, emigrating, and establishing more connections and ties to other people than we used to do in the past. Somehow he was anticipating something which is completely fashionable nowadays, which are the social networks. But it wouldn’t be until 1967, when the researcher Stanley Milgram published the compilation of experiments related to the extension of social networks under a theory named “The Small World problem” through The Psychology Today, when it was demonstrated that the world was becoming increasingly connected. At some point in the 2000s, the concept of “Six Degrees of Separation” was born, to explain you’d be related to anyone in no more than six connections.

Well, this is a vague summary of what the unproven theory is about, but I guess you already knew about it.

I’m not sure if it would apply to deceased people, but in this case I like to think is valid too, especially considering Elvis and me coexisted on earth for less than 11 months.

So here is the thing.

Elvis, the king of rock n’ roll, who only left the States for the military service in Germany and few shows in Canada, and Toi, an average(a bit freak too) girl from Zaragoza, Spain, have only two degrees of separation.

How can it be possible?

Ha! A couple of years ago I discovered this picture by chance: Elvis and Torrebruno.

torrebruno and elvis

Many of you are wondering now how the fuck was Torrebruno. Rocco Walter Torrebruno was a little Italian showman, who settled in Spain, doing comedy, singing, working as hosts in many TV programs, and during a long period of time, he used to work for a circus and oriented his career as a child’s entertainer.

Apparently the picture was taken in Paris in 1959, at the Moulin Rouge, when Elvis went to salute the singer Nina Holloway, to her dressing-room, after a show, and Torrebruno happened to be there with his guitar.

I met Torrebruno in 1981 when he took me to stage to sing his hit “Rocky Carambola”, who was actually a chimpanzee. Si I sang with him and this little man gave me the single as a present.

toi carambola

Thus, I met Torrebruno, who had met the King 22 years earlier. Only 2 degrees, friends. So now I’ve just proved myself that the world is ridiculously small. How cool is that?

The evil headaches of a love crush.

December is strange. Too intense to end the year, full of emotions, year balance, lists and events. Rhythm is exhausting, and Xmas hasn’t even started yet.

I feel a bit anxious this time and I don’t really know why. Well, I got few reasons. There are many issues I’m involved in directly and indirectly and my head is a bit mess, plus unlike previous years, I don’t know what to expect from next year and I’m not ready to face 2015, I haven’t figured out some plan yet, it’s as if I still had to do something to come to terms with this finishing year. What is that? I have no fuckin’ idea. Perhaps I think too much… Maybe everything would be sorted out if I got laid or climbed a mountain. Who knows?

Speaking of which, and related to a question arisen to an artist I had to interview, I’ve been thinking of the love crush feeling lately. Yep, I’m very emotional these days, and it’s not that I have a crush on someone right now, but I’ve been thinking how difficult that stage is till you actually fall in love with someone and that feeling is mutual.

You know someone, feel attracted to him for many reasons and qualities, both physical and related to personality, hobbies, tastes…whatever, and then you start considering maybe you could match that person, but you don’t know whether that person shares the same kind of feelings towards you, so the walking over the ice like time starts, and the mixture of feelings is overwhelming.

Illusion, optimism, sex, activities in common,  and to sum up, a promising future, are faced by not so positive things such as insecurities, sudden lost of self esteem, doubts and a huge lack of confidence, and the terrible and threatening shadow of REJECTION.

At the end of the day I live and move in a world where man-woman friendship is real, or at least  I strongly believe in it, even though sometimes confusion might happen and you can fuck it up too, not being able to define the friend zone from the affective one.

butterflies

Would these feelings change when you grow up and have some life experience on your back? Or you still feel butterflies (c’mon! those are fuckin’ cramps and cold sweat)? Because if things work the same way as 10 or 20 years ago, I’m not so sure I want to pass through that stage. Am I getting old and bitter? I hope that’s not such thing.

Why everything has to be so damn complicated? Wouldn’t it be easier to wear a tag to identify people’s needs and tastes…and the most important thing, availability?

Danko Jones said once that love is unkind, and I totally agree with him. It’s unfair and unbalanced, and it’s almost impossible to find someone to be at your same level of needs and involvement. There are not perfect couples, we were wrongly raised under such belief, but at the end of the day we know that’s impossible.  So, what’s the point of trying once and once again if nothing lasts forever?

Ah! Mysteries of life, dears! But it feels so damn great when love works, huh?

! Mysteries of life, dears! But it feels so damn great when love works, huh?

Black Friday

I always make jokes about having a boyfriend from the States so I could join the traditional celebration of Thanksgiving, even though I don’t eat turkey. Yep, everybody remarks the fact that I’m vegetarian as if the American veggies wouldn’t not fit to traditions because of their choice. Anyway, it’s been another year and I haven’t yet found my man from Wichita. Ha! 😀

Today it’s Friday. As good or bad as any Friday. But in America it’s Black Friday. The starting pistol to Xmas season shopping, marked by a fixed festivity on the fourth week on November. Apparently the term was born in Philly due to a massive traffic mess occurred one Friday, but actually this black means the point in the year when business start getting profit in sales.

Nowadays this day, extended till the end of the week, is marked by massive discounts “intended” to help family economies to face Xmas shopping, although at the end of the day, anyone with a bit of common sense knows that’s a lie, because discount makes people to consume more. And you are aware of it.

black friday

I’m not here to judge this tradition in the States, it’s not my war. For some time I used to think it was right to have sales before Xmas, rather than after, but things changed in my mind when I realized how stupid can be sometimes to spend so much money in Xmas presents. And Black Friday has finally reached Spain just like anything else, and it’s kind of ridiculous.

I buy. I have no problem in admitting it. I BUY A LOT OF SHIT. But I hate to be imposed when  and how to buy, because that means everything is accurately calculated to suck us dry. Plus I hate going shopping to suffer due to so many queues and so many people around it’s impossible to get focused on what you want. Definitely, I am not cattle.

Now, in order to attact those who hate going shopping, an eDay has been created to get discounts on the net. The tentacles of big companies go beyond anything and they’ll get lots of money for sure.

I got paid today. I thought of buying a couple of albums of a band I’m starting to like a lot at a very reasonable price, out of this Black Friday thing. But, I feel bad following the masses and decided I’d get them tomorrow. I’m not supporting any cause but just standing up for my principles, and at least I feel good about it.

You know what I bought today? Beer. And there was no discount  for that. WTF?

And today, there’s a song that’s been repeating in my head, and now I fully understand its message.

Merchandise keeps us in line
Common sense says it’s by design
What could a businessman ever want more
than to have us sucking in his store
We owe you nothing
You have no control
You are not what you own

I’d like to know the opinion of those who criticize Halloween so much about this.