noun: phobia; plural noun: phobias
an extreme or irrational fear of or aversion to something.
“she suffered from a phobia about birds”
synonyms: abnormal fear, irrational fear, obsessive fear, fear, dread, horror, terror,dislike, hatred, loathing, detestation, distaste, aversion, antipathy, revulsion, repulsion;
Summertime. Apparently the best season in the year, or at least we’ve been brought up and educated in this belief, as it’s associated to good weather, holidays and fun. This should be my summer 25 years ago, but not anymore.
In my case it is mainly marked by the peak season in my job, with work overload, the absence of holidays on behalf of colleagues who have couples and families and want or have to go on vacation in July or August. I’m usually broke thanks to IRS (basterds!), mosquitoes bite the hell out of me, humidity and hot weather in Barcelona is a shit and my forelock disappears forcedly, but trying to look at the right side of life, I’m still glad I have air conditioning at work. It is a relief, for real. There’s nobody here in August because everybody is on holidays, and there are not shows to attend either. I don’t get bored though, don’t think Barcelona is kind of jail in August, but let’s say that my country stops routine for 4-6 weeks, and no matter how I keep acting normal, somehow also affects me.
Honestly I’m positive when I admit it’s not my favorite season anymore, yet I can cope with that quite decently even though I’m complaining in excess to make this more dramatic. It is not the above mentioned situation what really makes me feel pissed off with this season. There’s one thing that actually makes me hate summer and the world more than any other:
Almost bare feet everywhere. Flip-flops and sandals are not so weird in Barcelona due to the weather, in fact, I’d say many people try to wear half the year if possible, something I find totally exaggerated to be honest.
People footwear shouldn’t be of my concern and I shouldn’t give a shit about this, but believe me, a tube trip of 6 stops is enough to make me feel like vomiting sometimes after being mistreated by the sight of terrible deformed bared aliens threatening me in my peaceful way to somewhere. Arggggh!
Has it ever occurred to you that you discover something abhorrent but you cannot keep the eye out of it so your stomach starts aching, your repulsion is even reflected in your face and you’d just love to go towards the human being and tell them how disgusting motherfucker he or she is? Well, similar situations I’m experiencing most of the times I catch a train, as I’m surrounded by many ugly feet with deformed toes, rotten nails, and disgusting corns. We can leave aside the subject of smelly feet, so classic in summer too, huh?
And I always wonder the same. How the fuck do you dare going out with such monstrosity at public glance? Ain’t you ashamed? How can you be so calm while you’re torturing my poor eyes? Sometimes I dream awake of being myself some sort of Feet Enforcer…
Check the beginning on this post with the definition of Phobia and think of the story I’m telling you and you will find the perfect example of extreme aversion. Yeah, that is me!
I don’t regard my feet as horrible, but I’ve always find the strange lack of proportion between my quite big piggy toe and the rest of small and rigid ones quite weird, and since I started wearing sneakers and Doc Martens at 14-15 I started not feeling very comfy showing them. Also I used to hate my mum cutting my nails when I was a kid and got very very anxious and tense when someone touched my toes. Have you watched Kill Bill? Do you remember when Beatrix Kiddo wakes up from years in coma and has to work on recovering the mobility of her legs, feet and toes for hours? I suffer with that scene.
My obsession has been gradually increasing, especially in the years I had a boyfriend with the hugest feet I’ve ever seen (QUITE smelly and excessively delicate too, he was complaining aaaaaall the fuckin’ time). Moreover, I guess he projected his feet obsessions, pains and concerns (and phobia) on me, so I developed this extreme dislike. He was also quite a world hater, lucky I’ve been into people too much as to fall under his anti-social influence.
Thus nowadays I can only stand baby feet, really decent feet,or close and old friends’, mainly female, of course. Even my male best friend share some of this feet shyness and I never seen his feet at full either. Those apparent enjoyable pleasures such as pedicure or a foot massage (Mia Wallace, how can you stand it without breaking anyone’s jaw with a kick?) are completely out of question.
Should I go to a shrink to overcome this phobia? Maybe, but as far as I’m concerned I’m not willing to invest the few dough I have in being gentle to disgusting feet of unknown people. I feel lucky for having a phobia which doesn’t affect much to my daily living, but being this a stupid example, try to think of something more serious. Frightening, huh?